The Big FAT Word

FAT.

That's a small word. It's made up of three words, and is smaller than most.

FAT.

Yet, it's a big word. It's a word that plagues, that drives others to do things they should never have.

FAT.

To us, to the fat people, the thin people got it all made. We look at them, and see their perfect lives. We wonder how it feels to be underweight, to worry not about the rolls our bellies, but about our noses, or how small our lips are, or whatever. We wonder how it feels to worry about looking fat when trying something new, not about how it makes you look thinner.

FAT.

It's always unnerving, irritating, to hear those women greet you at a party. "Hey, you've gained weight! Hey, you look really good tonight! Hey, you've lost weight! Hey-" it goes over and over again. It makes you wonder--did everything you do in your life, all of your triumphs, seems so trivial to them, so inconsequential, that they only talk about how you look?

FAT

It's a big word, yes. Some people would use it as an offhanded word, as in, "I look so fat in this dress," "I could feel the fat coming into my belly," or "She's so fat; she should go into a diet."

FAT

People forget that it isn't easy. They like to think that there's a magic solution--just do this, just do this diet, just throw up, and poof! fat girl is gone.

FAT

It's hard, it's unnerving. Has anyone else thought of suicide whenever they see a weighing scale? Has anyone else felt how gross it is to shove a toothbrush down your throat? Has anyone else looked at their reflection and felt like breaking the glass?

FAT

They got it wrong: We could all take the sticks and the stones, after all, wounds heal, but the word don't only hurt, they sting. They stay. They latch onto you as if they're leeches, and the more they are, the worse it is to take it off.

FAT

Words hurt: Sometimes words of comfort do as much damage. Sometimes we wish that you'd shut up--You don't know how it feels, you don't know how it hurts.

FAT

Stamp it out, please, take it away. That humongous word, that word that the media says that prevents me from being perfect, from being beautiful, as if beauty was even attainable in the first place.

FAT

It's an ugly word.

FAT

It's a word that makes people cry in the night.

FAT

It's a word that KILLS.