A Countdown To G-Day: Days 4,5, and 6

Yes, I'm still doing this.

The reasons I haven't been able to post these three entries on their respective dates are:
1.) There was a black out on Day 4.
2.) I had no access to blogger on Day 5.
3.) I was out of town on Day 6.

But fear not, I still did manage to write entries on these days. Days 4 and 5 were on my journal, and Day 6 was on that Notes app.



Day 4:

The sky looks strange. This strangeness is heightened by the fact that it's mirroring how I feel.

It's blue. It's blue in a clueless way, as if it still hasn't decided whether it should darken or lighten, or maybe even completely change color. Thus, it is caught in a peculiar transition:being both blue and not quite blue.

I'm tired, and there is nothing else to reckon on.

Day 5:

I can honestly say that I have done nothing for the past week. The things I was supposed to do; I neglected, and the report I was supposed to give was canceled.

I'm tired and I'm out of focus. Reading through my past posts, I'm afraid I've also forgotten how to write; quite a sobering thought.

And I have done nothing today, though I thought I would yesterday. Story of my life.

It's disheartening that the most noteworthy thing about this week is the fact that there isn't anything noteworthy.

And on it goes.

Day 6: (I labored on this. Do you know how frustrating writing deep and intellectual thoughts on a tiny iPhone is? That is exactly why this is neither deep nor intellectual)



I've achieved the impossible: I listened to the song so much that I've managed to overcome my knee-jerk reaction to cry buckets of bitter tears. Instead, I'm filled with this bitterweet feeling, this feeling of counting down to an ending, or going through one and wondering if it was worth it. It's a lot like watching the ending credits of a movie. When the screen turns black and the text starts to scroll, I sit there, transfixed, not able to move from my place to go out of the theater, or to change the channel. And from my heart of hearts, I think, is this it? This is done? Did I waste my time? Did I really watch a movie or did I just see moving images? Did I enjoy this film? What happens then? And there's another psuedo-question, which is more of a thought that I can't quite put into words and seems to be asking for something than an actual question. It's a lot like the is this it? question, but more...verbose, I suppose. In any case, that is how I feel.

I don't think I'll ever be able to fully explain just how much the Harry Potter series have shaped me. Harry Potter is my childhood. It represents a simpler time, one filled with wonder and awe. It's the period when I was still able to believe that I belonged to a different world, one so magical and filled with glory. It wasn't the period I found my self worth, but it without this period, I would never be able to.

I still haven't fully found her, me, myself as who I am. Maybe someday. Until then, I'll be wearing my wizard robes and practicing my spells. Who knows? Maybe she is, too.