Still me

I am stressed and my gut is filled with that awful feeling of dread.

The finals are this week and I haven't done an inch of studying and I don't even know what to study. I also skipped out on my make- up test which means I have to be busy tomorrow too.

I should do my THE homework but I have no idea how to do the last one and I need to compile it all but I need to use a black folder for it and I told her to buy one but she forgot and the stores are all closed and there's a black out. I somehow feel like screaming at somebody and tearing something or beating someone up but I can't bring myself to actually do that; I feel too weak to do something like that.

In fact, the only strength I have left to do is to curl up on my bed and cry.

Right then.

A Countdown to G-Day: Days 38 to 42

There's that feeling of dread again.

Hello. I know I haven't posted in a few days; I didn't know what to write. Rather, I did know what to write but I knew I shouldn't write it. And so here we are.

Last week was my last week of regular school. This week is my last week of high school, period. Tomorrow is my last regular day of high school. I am graduating. This is really happening. Say what now?

It's crazy when I think about it. You'd think I'd be all weepy now, but I'm not. I'm really happy and excited. Maybe a little sad too. As much as I've hated high school, I'll still miss it.

I like the fact that I'm seeing more of me the me as I truly am. I've missed her; haven't seen here in a year. Is it sad that she's back just when I'm about to leave? Very.

But in any case, I'm graduating. (I hope so. I cannot understand some of my requirements. Pshh.)

God help me.

A Countdown to G-Day: Day 37

I can't think right now so BLUBBER.

Sometimes random in neither funny nor entertaining.

A Countdown to G-Day: Days 35 and 36

I only have 4 normal school days left. SWEET JESUS THIS IS HAPPENING

Anyways, I've been busy being sick. Again. And school was suspended because of flood. Again.

I've been trying to get people to read my story. As usual.

I don't know why I'm writing this way. Typical.

Yes, I need to stop. Clearly.

Arggh. Obnoxiously.

A Countdown to G-Day: Days 33 and 34

So I spent these two days writing this story I posted on wattpad. Here it is: http://www.wattpad.com/story/4250362-the-ramblings-of-a-faded-woman 
I swear to God I'll make that link clickable when I could use html. 

Also, I just read that the term scientist was coined only on the year 1840. 
I wonder how they were addresed before that?
- "Look, madam, this person does science!"
- "I know what sciencers look like, George."
- "The science man is looking particularly cheery today."
- "Did you hear about that scientor? Man, the things people are capable of."
And so on.

A Countdown to G-Day: Day 32

I am in a spectacular mess.

I'm supposed to be doing my research paper, but my group mates didn't reply when I asked about it, so I guess that means that they're not doing it. Or whatever. I don't know.

I'd like to be able to say that I had fun, but that would be a lie, and an uninteresting one at that. I did enjoy being on-duty and watching the movie, though.

Which reminds me: Smiley. I've got to watch that. It sounds scary. Mmmmm.

Days 29, 30, 31

...I'm sorry.

I slept through 29 and 30. When I wasn't, I was preoccupied with obsessing over Les Miserables.
On 29, I had to finish an application for a dorm.
On 30, I had to make a scrapbook. A [I]fitness[/I] scrapbook.

Sorry.

So, random thoughts:

February 14, Valentine's Day. Otherwise known as the great day of hiding.

†

I HAVE 13 DAYS LEFT OF HIGH SCHOOL OH MY GOD WHAT IS THIS I mean I'm almost done with high school. I'm reasonably excited.

And sorry. sorry. sorry.

When did the caged bird forget to smile?

If there was a corresponding equation for everyone, then mine would be a perfect linear equation. However many numbers and variables it has will not make a difference as it will always, always end up being a graph of a straight line, nothing more, nothing less. Everyday will be the same and there won't be any significant change. This life will go on straight and I don't have a say on it.

Yeah.

I already just posted but I have this inner compulsion to erase what I just wrote and start over. But I won’t so I’ll just write.

A Countdown to G-Day: Days 26 and 27

Alright. So these are the reasons why I wasn't able to post yesterday:

* I rewatched Les Miserables, this time with a friend. I convinced her to watch it with me purely because I wanted to celebrate the gloriousness of Enjolras' hair. WHY OH WHY IS IT JUST A WIG BUT I STILL LOVE YOU ANYWAYS AARON TVEIT
* I was scrambling to find a place to stay in college. This and the aforementioned rewatching of Les Miserables took up the entire morning.
* I wrote two stories. One's still horribly short and, as of now, consists of two sentences and three jumbled words that am still wondering as to how it appeared in the draft. The other one is fairly decent but is still by no means ready to be posted. This was done in the afternoon.
* I was busy doing Chapter 4 of our research paper. If you didn't already know, writing chapter 4 is torture, more so if you're completely redoing it if you're first draft was rejected. That took up the whole night.

Okay then.

~

As for today, nothing much happened except FOR THIS INCREDIBLY PAINFUL BACKACHE THAT HURTS WHENEVER I BEND, ROLL OVER, SLOUCH, STAND STRAIGHT, AND BASICALLY EVERY MOVEMENT THAT ENTAILS THE MOVING OF MY UPPER BODY. But no worries.

A Countdown to G-Day: Day 25

If you ask me for recommendations I will give you recommendations.

I'm a steadfast recommendist. recommendater. recommender. Whichever, whatever.

A Countdown to G-Day: Day 24

There isn't any Nobel Prize winner from the Philippines and that makes me sad and motivated.

A Countdown to G-Day: Day 23

Fangirlisms. It's a thing.

A Countdown to G-Day: Day 22

I can't wait to be old and successful enough to make fun of my current self.

A Countdown to G-Day: Day 21

I am trying hard to keep myself from hoping too much.

Hope is good, hope is beautiful, but false hope is ugly and painful.

A Countdown to G-Day: Day 20

I'm posting this now because it was late at night when I finished writing this and the wifi was already turned off.

This also happened to be my English assignment.

An Interpretation of Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen.

A Countdown to G-Day: Day 19

I'm cheating for this one, because this is actually something I just posted on a forum.

A Countdown to G-Day: Day 18

I am crying right now.

I have been listening to and watching several clips of my childhood. From the Hundred Acre Woods song, to Rainbow Connection, to Perfect.