A Countdown to G-Day: Day 21

I am trying hard to keep myself from hoping too much.

Hope is good, hope is beautiful, but false hope is ugly and painful.

I want to be more than I am now. I want to be someone, an actual important person. I want to do so many things. I want to change the world.

I want respect.

One of my favorite(and least liked) hobby is pretending that I'm having an interview after being successful doing something. Usually it's either writing a masterpiece of a book or acting so well I get tons of awards and acclaim. Sometimes it's both. I like it when it's both.

It's one my favorite because it's fun. I like playing make-believe, and it indulges the optimistic girl in me. I love imagining that somehow all of those would be real and true, and that the fantasy world I'm dreaming of would someday be my home.

I don't like it because when it's done I feel lost and hopeless. The problem with playing make-believe is that when it's over you're shoved right back into the real world, which, though you can try to make it fun and as similar to the fantasy world as possible, will never be as good as your dreams. The perils of imagination is that the more and more engulfed you get into your dreams, the more and more ugly reality becomes.

Maybe one day it'll actually happen, the fulfillment of my wishes or dreams. Or maybe one day I'll finally be able to stop reaching out to my castle in the sky and grab the piece of cotton that's easily in my reach. Wishing for the near impossible or Lowering your standards. Live in a fantasy or Face reality.

I prefer the former. Always.